


The Boiling Point

by malecnificenttyrus11



Category: Love Victor (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst w/happy ending, Arguments, Breakups, Confessions, Rewritten 1x10, Spring Fling, bench kisses, frustrated!victor, painfully obvious feelings, rewritten-finale, stubborn!benji, victor doesn't hold back
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25546588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecnificenttyrus11/pseuds/malecnificenttyrus11
Summary: Victor starts to feel guilty for snapping at Benji, but finds himself unable to stop the word-vomit from coming out of his mouth. He's just had probably the worst week of his life, and all of his built-up emotions---sadness, frustration, anger, disappointment---were finally boiling over.~The one where Victor doesn't let Benji leave that restroom without speaking his mind.
Relationships: Victor Salazar & Benji Campbell, Victor Salazar/Benji Campbell
Comments: 8
Kudos: 120





	The Boiling Point

Victor's eyes dart around the gymnasium, finally landing on Benji. He feels his heart stop in his chest when Benji turns to meet his eyes.

He manages a small smile, hoping that Benji will reciprocate the gesture--- _he needs him to smile back...he needs a sign that his letter worked, and that all hope isn't lost for them_ \---

Benji's eyes widen, him immediately averting his gaze to the ground.

Victor's deflates, his face falling.

_His letter didn't work. Benji still wanted nothing to do with him._

Victor nods to himself, turning around and storming out of the gymnasium...needing to get as far away from the dance, and Benji...as possible. 

He walks into the restroom, walking over to the sink and turning it on...leaning down and splashing water onto his face.

He shuts the sink, gripping the edge of the counter so tightly that his knuckles turn white. He closes his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath.

Victor hears the restroom door open, followed by footsteps. He shifts his gaze up to look into the mirror, eyes widening when he sees Benji.

"Hey..." Benji breathes out, offering him a small, tight-lipped smile as he shoves his hands into his pockets.

Victor looks at him briefly before averting his gaze, "Hey..."

"Can we talk?" Benji asks.

Victor hesitates, slowly turning around to face him...leaning back against the counter. He stays silent, nodding his head.

Benji sighs, "Look..." he pauses, taking a few steps forward, "I wanted to tell you that I read your letter, and...I do forgive you."

Victor's eyes widen, letting out a breath of relief, "Really?"

Benji smiles weakly at him, his face turning conflicted...and then serious.

_Victor can sense a 'but' coming, and he isn't looking forward to it._

"But me forgiving you doesn't change anything, Victor. I have a boyfriend, and you kissed me...so I need to stay away from you." Benji says, voice monotone and emotionless.

Victor's face falls, his heart sinking in his chest. He shifts his gaze to the ground.

"I'm sorry..." Benji says, turning around to leave.

Victor speaks up, stopping Benji in his tracks.

"That's it?" He asks.

Benji freezes, turning around to look at him, "What?"

"That's what you came in here to say? That you forgive me, but you still want nothing to do with me? _Really_?" 

Benji sighs, "Victor, I-"

Victor holds his hand up, shaking his head, "No, Benji. I'm sorry...but you don't get to do this."

He furrows his eyebrows, "Do...what?"

"This..." he pauses, gesturing between them, "follow me in here and tell me that you forgive me...get my hopes up only to tear me down again, just like you've done all week. I'm sorry...but that's not fair to me."

"No part of this situation...is fair to me." Victor adds, crossing his arms over his chest.

Benji sighs, "I don't know what you want me to say, Victor..." 

Victor rolls his eyes, "I don't want you to say _anything_ , Benji... _you've gotten your feelings across loud-and-clear._ But if you're going to walk out of my life for good, you could atleast give the chance to say how _I_ feel." 

Benji falls silent, averting his gaze to the ground and crossing his arms. Victor takes this as a signal to keep talking.

"I know that I shouldnt have kissed you, benji. I _know_ that. I've been beating myself up over it ever since it happened...okay? But you and I both know that I'm not the only one to blame here." 

Victor watches as Benji's body tenses up, his jaw clenching.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Benji whispers.

Victor shakes his head, "I think you _do_. You kissed me back in that motel room, Benji. I know it, and you know it...no matter how hard you try to deny it."

Benji is silent, fidgeting with his hands---a nervous habit of his that Victor had picked up on---

_He knows that Victor is right._

"I would've understood if you told me that you kissed me back out of pity, or because you were angry at Derek. I would've understood literally _any_ _explanation_ you would've given me." Victor continues.

Benji looks up slowly, eyes wide, "Victor, no...that's not-"

Victor cuts him off, "You didn't give me an explanation, hell...you didn't even give me a chance to explain _myself_. You wouldn't even listen, you just pushed me away, and pinned the blame on me." 

Benji's face falls slightly, a guilty look appearing on his face.

_Victor starts to feel guilty for snapping at Benji, but finds himself unable to stop the word-vomit from coming out of his mouth. He's just had probably the worst week of his life, and all of his built-up emotions---sadness, frustration, anger, disappointment---were finally boiling over._

Victor lowers his voice, "I was willing to give you your space. I was willing to...to take the fall for the kiss...I was willing to do _anything_ if it made you happy..." he confesses, looking down at the ground.

He pauses, taking a deep breath, "But I've spent my entire life carrying the burden of everyone else's problems...jeopardizing _my_ happiness for everyone else. And I'm sorry, but I'm not going to do it anymore." 

Victor keeps his eyes focused on the ground, going to walk past Benji. 

Benji's hand shoots out to grab Victor's arm...halting his walking, "Victor, _please_...don't go." 

He clenches his jaw, "Why, Benji?"

Benji lets go of Victor's arm, his hand falling back down to his side, "Why what?"

Victor slowly turns around to face him, "Why did you kiss me back?"

Benji looks down at the ground, staying silent.

Victor laughs, "You don't want me to leave, but you don't want me to stay. You can't even give me a reason for any of it." 

"Victor, I-" Benji says, voice trailing off. He runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Do you see how this is unfair to me?" Victor asks, crossing his arms over his chest, "You aren't the only person here, Benji. I have feelings, too."

Victor bites the inside of his cheek, debating whether or not he should keep talking. 

_Is it even worth it for him to confess his feelings for Benji, only for him to walk out of Victor's life forever and leave him heartbroken?_

_If this is the last time he has the opportunity to speak to Benji, then he wants to lay all of his feelings out on the table._

"I have feelings for you, Benji." Victor admits, glancing over at him.

Benji's eyes are wide, an unreadable expression on his face.

Victor takes a deep breath, "I like you, a lot...I have for a long time. And I care about you. I was under the impression that you cared about me too, if not in the same way... _atleast_ as a friend." 

"I guess I was wrong." he finishes off, turning to walk towards the door.

"I do care about you, Victor." Benji yells out.

Victor freezes, closing his eyes and clenching his jaw, "Don't do that."

"Do what?" 

"Lie to me...say that you care about me when you clearly don't." Victor snaps, no anger in his voice...just exhaustion.

_He's so exhausted from this entire situation...from everything going on in his life. He's mentally, and physically drained, and isn't sure how much more he can take._

"I'm not lying to you..." Benji whispers.

Victor pushes himself to turn around, "Oh really? And how am I supposed to believe that? When I needed you the most-" Victor's voice cracks, his eyes burning, "When I needed you to be the one person who understood what I was going through...you weren't there."

Benji frowns, a guilt-ridden expression finding its way onto his face.

"I care about you, Benji, and I probably always will. But whatever this is..." he pauses, gesturing between them, "I can't do it anymore. It hurts too much." 

"I want you to be happy, but not at the expense of my own happiness. For my sake, Derek's sake and yours...you need to figure out what you want, because this isn't fair to any of us." Victor finishes off, walking away towards the door.

Benji takes a step forward, words caught in the back of his throat, "Victor...I'm sorry." he manages, his voice desperate...a silent plea hidden beneath it begging for him to stay.

Victor pauses, biting his lower lip as he fights back tears, "Yeah, me too."

He pulls the door open, walking out and storming into the hallway. He pauses, glancing back in the direction of the gymnasium. He knows that Mia will be wondering where he went, but he just needs to be alone right now.

Victor folds his arms over his chest, turning to walk in the opposite direction.

~

Benji watches helplessly as Victor storms out of the restroom, tears welling up in his eyes. He bites his lower lip, which is wobbling dangerously. 

_He fucked up big time, and he isn't sure that he'll be able to fix it._

Benji knows that he shouldn't have pushed Victor away. He knows that he should've listened to him, understood where he was coming from...been there for Victor when he needed him. 

He couldn't bring himself to tell Victor the real reason why he'd been acting the way he was...because he couldn't even admit it to himself.

Benji kissed Victor back, and he did it because he had feelings for him. He'd had feelings for Victor since he'd first met him, and they'd grown significantly in the time since. 

It was easy for Benji to deny his feelings for Victor when he was under the impression that he was straight. But then...Victor kissed him, and Benji could no longer fight his feelings off.

He knew that he still couldn't confront those feelings, especially when he was still in a relationship with Derek. Even if a part of him knew that he and Derek were no longer good together...he couldn't seem to let go. 

_He was scared of letting go, and starting over with someone new. It scared him because he'd never felt the way he felt with Victor with anyone else...including Derek._

But now, as he stood frozen in his spot, watching Victor walk out of the door and possibly out of his life...he realized that he was more afraid of losing Victor.

_He couldn't lose him._

Benji is snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of a stall door opening. His gaze shifts over in the direction of the sound, eyes widening when he sees Andrew walk out.

_Oh no. No, no, no._

Andrew's face is expressionless, him walking directly past Benji without acknowledging his presence. 

Benji watches as he washes his hands, turning around and walking right in the direction of the door, gaze averted away from Benji.

He walks out of the restroom, door slamming shut behind him. 

Benji is frozen in his spot, unable to speak or move. He feels his heart sink in his chest, a feeling of dread settling in the pit of his stomach.

_He just outed Victor to Andrew._

He finally manages to move, quickly making his way out of the restroom and back in the direction of the gymnasium.

Once he's back inside the dance, his eyes dart around for any sign of Andrew. He needs to find him and talk to him, to make sure that Andrew doesn't mention what he's heard to anyone.

Benji frowns when he sees no sign of Andrew _or_ Victor. _This is not good._

He keeps looking around, eyes landing on his boyfriend...who's standing in the distance near the punch bowl, looking disinterested and mildly-uncomfortable.

Benji sighs, pushing through the crowd and making his way over to him.

Derek looks up to meet his eyes, "Hey...you were gone for awhile. Is everything okay?"

He nods stiffly, "Yeah, everything is fine." he lies.

Derek offers him a cup of punch, and he reluctantly accepts it, forcing a smile, "Thanks."

He takes a sip, forcing the drink down despite the feeling of nausea in his stomach. 

Silence falls between them, and Benji finds his focus shifting towards the crowd of students...eyes searching for any sign of Victor.

He was starting to get extremely worried. Victor was nowhere to be found, and Andrew had seemed to have disappeared as well...and that coincidence didn't sit well with Benji.

_Benji should've been more careful, should've made sure that nobody was around before initiating that conversation with Victor...especially in a public setting. And now, his dumb decision might be the reason Victor gets outed to the entire school._

He shakes himself out of his thoughts, turning his focus back towards Derek, who's giving him a concerned look. 

"Are you _sure_ everything is okay? You look like you're on another planet." Derek says.

Benji nods, "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just...have you...seen Victor?" 

Derek raises an eyebrow, shaking his head, "No, I haven't...why?"

"It's nothing, uh... did you want to dance?" Benji asks, hoping that Derek won't pry further.

Derek shoots him a look, "Benji, I _literally_ have two left feet...please don't make me dance." he groans.

Benji rolls his eyes, laughing in disbelief as he shakes his head.

"What? Why are you laughing at me?" Derek asks, raising an eyebrow.

_In all honesty, Benji isn't laughing at Derek...he's laughing at himself for thinking that this situation with Derek would change. He's laughing at himself for thinking staying with Derek was the right choice._

_This entire situation was a joke, and Benji was right in the center of it...he felt like the biggest joke of all._

"I just...don't know why you're being so _weird_." Benji sighs.

_Derek has acted weird during the entire year of their relationship...always disinterested in anything that Benji is interested in, always making excuses for why he doesn't want to be somewhere or do something...and always putting Benji down._

_Looking at it now, Benji realizes that Derek's sense of superiority, his constant condescending behavior and disinterest in their relationship is weird...and it makes no sense. It never has._

Derek shrugs, "I'm sorry, I just...kinda feel _weird_ being at a high school dance."

Benji resists the urge to roll his eyes at yet another one of Derek's signature excuses.

He scoffs, "Well, can we atleast stay for a _couple_ more songs?" 

Derek makes an annoyed facial expression, nodding his head, "Sure."

_Benji knows that the last thing Derek wants to do is stay at the dance, but he can't bring himself to care. He wants to stay to make sure Andrew doesn't pull any crap with Victor...and he wants to make sure that Victor is okay._

He nods at Derek's answer, lips drawn tight into a thin line. He's just about to respond when he sees someone walk over to them out of the corner of his eye. 

He turns to see Pilar, shooting her a friendly smile.

"Hey guys!" She exclaims, turning to meet Benji's eyes, "quick q Benji...you and Victor work together like _everyday_ , right?"

_They used to, but he'd recently switched Brasstown locations. He can't tell her this, since Derek doesn't know about him switching work locations, nor does he know the reason why._

"Uh, yeah, pretty much...why?" He asks.

She answers with another question, "Do you guys work with any... _girls_?" she asks, putting emphasis on the word girls.

"Uh, there's Sarah...but she's more of an angry woman than a girl." He jokes, laughing uncomfortably.

Pilar raises an eyebrow, a suspicious look on her face. She looks like she's trying to get to the bottom of something. 

Benji is starting to feel like this is an interrogation directed towards him, and has a bad feeling that he knows where its heading.

_He doesn't like it._

"Did Sarah and Victor ever go on a _work trip_ together?" She asks, giving him an expectant look.

Benji feels his stomach flip, "Uh, no...I don't think so." he says casually, trying his best to keep his voice level.

He sees Derek glance over at him out of the corner of his eye, and knows that he has to end this conversation immediately.

"You know, we're actually leaving soon...so we're gonna go dance..." he says, grabbing Derek's hand.

_Something about the feeling of Derek's hand in his feels so foreign now, so...unnatural. Maybe it was because they hadn't held hands in awhile, or maybe it was because the spark between them was no longer there...one that Benji wasn't sure was ever there._

_Holding his hand felt like nothing compared to the way he felt when Victor touched him._

Derek resists his pull, holding him back, "Why are you asking him all of these questions?"

"Something happened on that trip..." Pilar says pointedly, "But, forget it..."

She crosses her arms and storms off...leaving the two of them alone.

Derek turns to look at Benji, and Benji shoves his hands in his pockets, averting his gaze to the ground.

_He knows what is going to inevitably happen next, and part of him should be happy that he finally has to have this conversation. He should've known when he decided to keep this from Derek, that it was because he knew deep down they shouldnt be together anymore._

"Benji...didn't you and _Victor_ go on a work trip together?" Derek asks.

Benji shifts his gaze up from the floor to look at Derek, eyes darting between his. 

"Uh, yeah...why?"

Derek leans in closer, lowering his voice, "Benji...what's going on?"

Benji bites the inside of his cheek, gulping.

"There's something that I need to tell you, Derek. But... _not here_. can we go somewhere away from everyone?" He asks.

Derek is hesitant for a moment, nodding his head. They walk over to an abandoned corner of the gymnasium out of ear-shot from everyone.

Benji wants to make sure that nobody overhears their conversation. It was bad enough that Andrew knew...he didn't want to increase the chances of Victor being outed.

"Okay...so what is going on, Benji? What was Victor's sister talking about?" Derek asks.

Benji is silent, eyes focused on the ground, "While Victor and I were on the work trip, um..." he pauses, "Victor kissed me." he confesses.

_Dammit, coward...why can't you say you kissed Victor back._

Derek is silent, so silent that it concerns Benji. 

He looks up at Derek, who's face is going through a variety of different emotions, "What?"

"Victor kissed me..." he repeats, quieter. 

_And I kissed him back..._ the words are stuck in his throat.

Derek looks at him suspiciously, eyes narrowed, like he can see right through Benji's words.

"I can't _believe_ this..." he huffs out, crossing his arms over his chest.

Benji sighs, "Derek, I wanted to tell you...but I knew you would get mad and-"

"You kissed him back, didn't you? That's why you never said anything." Derek cuts him off.

Benji stays silent, gaze falling to the ground as he bites his lower lip.

Derek clenches his jaw, shaking his head in disbelief, "So you hooked up with Victor, and then you didn't tell me." he says, voice growing louder.

"Can you _please_ keep your voice down? Victor isnt out yet, and I don't want anyone hearing this." Benji pleads, glancing around paranoidly to make sure no eyes were on them.

Derek laughs, rolling his eyes, " _That's_ what you're worried about? That your secret sidepiece will get outed?" 

Benji tenses up, clenching his jaw, "Derek, _don't_ call him that...it wasn't like that..." he warns him, "And yes, I _am_ worried about that, and you should be too...because you know that being outed isn't a good situation."

Derek sighs, "This is just _great_ , Benji. You hooked up with another guy because of what happened during our anniversary dinner. That is what this is about... _right_? I mean, you wouldn't talk to me at all after that night...and then you went on that roadtrip and ignored my calls."

"Derek, I-"

He shakes his head, "You know what? I think I've heard enough...I'm going to go."

Derek storms out of the gymnasium, and Benji chases after him. 

_Why does he continue to chase after him?_

"Derek! It wasn't like that...it wasn't like that!" Benji pleads.

Derek spins around, throwing his hands into the air, "If it wasn't like _that_ then why didn't you tell me?" 

Benji falls silent.

He sees a figure out of the corner of his eye...looking up to see Victor, who's standing further down the hallway leaning against a locker, looking at them. They lock eyes, and Benji frowns. 

Derek looks at him, shifting his gaze to follow Benji's. He sees Victor, clenching his jaw.

He turns to look at Benji, "You didn't tell me because you _know_ I'm right." 

Derek storms off in Victor's direction, and Benji's eyes widen...him immediately following after him.

"Derek, wait...wait, wait, wait!" Benji calls out. 

"Save it, I'm out of here...I'm _done_!" He snaps at no one in particular.

Victor walks to stand in front of Derek, and Derek increases his speed, trying to go past him. Victor puts a hand out to push on Derek's chest...stopping him. 

Benji's eyes widen, panic settling in his stomach. The last thing that he wants is Derek hurting Victor for something that he'd also played a part in.

"Derek...wait, it wasn't his fault. _I_ kissed _him_..." Victor exclaims.

Benji freezes, taken aback by Victor's words. Was he...defending him?

"I kissed him, and then he stopped it..." Victor says, glancing over at Benji briefly, "and then he switched coffee shops to get away from me because he didn't want to mess up yourrelationship." 

Victor's face falls slightly, " _That's_ how much he cares about you, Derek."

Benji glances over at Derek, eyes shifting back over to Victor.

_Was Victor really...defending him? Trying to save his relationship after the way that Benji had treated him...the way that he hurt him?_

"So, _please_..." Victor pleads, "don't blame Benji for my _stupid_ mistake."

Victor locks eyes with Benji, He's...too good a guy to walk away from."

Benji raises his eyebrows, his breath hitching.

"He's thoughtful, and sweet..."

Benji glances over at Derek...noticing the way that Victor's words appear to have no sort of impact on him.

"And... _patient_..." he looks down, laughing softly.

Benji smiles, "My point is...Benji is the best."

_He's felt like anything other than the best this entire night. But, a part of him wants to believe Victor's words...hold onto the hope that maybe, he didn't entirely lose him._

_Maybe he had the chance to fix this._

"And you guys are...awesome together." Victor says in a strained voice.

Benji glances over at Derek again...realization hitting him. They aren't awesome together. They havent been in a long time, or maybe even ever. And he knows it now. 

_Derek isn't good for him._

"So please, dont let me and my _stupid_ kiss mess that up..." Victor pleads.

_Benji wants desperately to tell Victor that their kiss was anything other than stupid. That it meant everything to him, that he wanted to do it again..._

Victor looks at Benji, clenching his jaw as his eyes become glassy, "I promise to stay out of your way...starting now." 

_Benji feels like this is Victor's version of a goodbye, and he watches helplessly as Victor takes off down the hallway...disappearing into the darkness._

He clenches his jaw, fighting back the tears threatening to fall.

"Benji, look...i'm sorry for not believing you. I just-" Derek starts, reaching his hand out towards Benji's, freezing when Benji cuts him off. 

"I kissed him back, Derek." he confesses.

Derek's eyes widen, "What?" 

Benji sighs, "Victor kissed me, but I kissed him back. And I didn't keep it from you because I did it to get back at you...I kept it from you because I wasn't ready to admit the truth to myself yet." 

"The truth about what?" he asks.

"About _us_ , Derek. I tried to convince myself that I needed to make this work...that it _would_ work, but its not, and I think we both know it."

Derek shakes his head, "I don't...understand."

Benji takes a deep breath, "Neither of us are happy in this relationship, Derek. I can see that you aren't happy...that you don't like being with me, or that I'm not what you're looking for."

"Benji, that's not tr-"

"It is true, Derek. And now I realize that...you aren't what I'm looking for...either." Benji confesses.

Derek is silent, and Benji keeps talking, "I spend way too much time feeling anxious around you, like I'm walking on eggshells all of the time. I feel like...I can't be myself, like I have to change into the version of myself that you want me to be. But I can't be the person you want me to be, Derek..." 

Derek shifts his gaze to the ground, "So...what are you saying?" 

Benji bites his lower lip, trying to gather the courage to say the words he should've said a long time ago. 

"I'm saying that...I think we should break up." 

He shifts his gaze away from Derek, exhaling a breath of relief.

Derek clears his throat, "So, you're breaking up with me after a year...for _him_?"

Benji shakes his head, "No, Derek. I'm doing it for me." 

He turns to walk in the direction that Victor left in a few minutes prior, freezing when Derek speaks up again.

_He always has to have the last word...Benji isn't going to let him, this time._

"Do you _really_ think that he'll be able to make you happy, Benji? He's still in the _closet_...he has a 'girlfriend.' Do you really want to go through that again?" Derek asks, voice cold and judgmental.

Benji turns around, shooting him a glare.

" _Seriously_ , Derek?" he snaps.

He shakes his head, "I know that Victor can make me happy. You want to know how I know? Because he's made me feel happier and more okay with myself in a few short weeks than you did in an entire year." 

Derek clenches his jaw, looking down.

"Goodbye, Derek." 

Benji turns around, walking down the hallway in search of victor. 

After searching everywhere he can think of, he finally spots him sitting on a bench outside of school...hunched over. Benji frowns, quietly pushing the door open and walking outside...making his way over to him.

~

"Hey..." Benji breathes out.

Victor glances up to look at him, and Benji feels his heart shatter when he sees the tears in his eyes...his mouth turned downward in a frown.

"Hey..." Victor whispers, eyes darting around to look everywhere but his.

"Is it okay if I..." he trails off, gesturing to the open spot next to Victor on the bench. 

Victor shrugs, hunching back over and averting his gaze to the ground. Benji sits down beside him, fidgeting with his hands as he tries to find his words. 

"Victor...i'm sorry." Benji apologizes. 

He glances over at Benji, staying silent. Benji takes this as a signal to continue talking.

He sighs, "I'm sorry for the way that I've been treating you. You were right...it wasn't fair to you." 

Victor nods stiffly, "Is that it?" 

"No, it's not. Look, Victor..." he pauses, shifting so that he's facing him, "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did after we kissed. I should've understood...I should've been there for you, because I've been there before." 

"Then why weren't you? _Why_ did you push me away?" Victor whispers, a plea in his voice.

Benji is silent for a moment, "Because...I was afraid."

Victor looks up, furrowing his eyebrows, "Why were you afraid?" 

"I was afraid because I kissed you back, Victor. Because I felt something when I did, because I realized that...I _always_ felt something for you. And that scared me because...I've never felt this way about anyone, not even Derek." Benji confesses.

Victor lets out a breath, "So...you didn't kiss me back because you pitied me, or were angry with Derek?"

Benji shakes his head, "God, no...Victor. I kissed you back because I _wanted_ to."

Victor looks back down at the ground, nodding his head, "Well, even if you felt something for me...it doesn't matter. You're with Derek."

"Actually...we broke up." Benji says.

Victor's head shoots up, a conflicted look on his face, "Benji, I- I'm sorry..."

"I'm not... _I_ broke up with _him_." 

His eyes widen, "Why?"

Benji clears his throat, "Something's been...off with us for awhile. He makes me feel bad a lot of the time about the stuff I like to do...about, being a romantic..."

Benji averts his gaze, searching for the right words.

He looks back up at Victor, "I want to be with someone who doesn't make me feel anxious all the time. Someone who makes me feel like I can just...be myself, and that's enough."

Victor nods slowly, a hopeful look in his eyes.

Benji glances down at his lap, and then back up, "That's how you make me feel, Victor." 

Victor is silent for a moment, eyes darting around as he processes Benji's words. He laughs softly in disbelief.

"That's...that's how you make me feel, too."

Benji lets out a breath of relief, "So...you forgive me?" 

"Yeah. I do." Victor whispers.

Benji smiles, eyes glancing down at Victor's lips and then back up to meet his eyes...searching for permission.

He leans forward, Victor meeting him halfway to close the distance between them... pressing their lips together. He rests a hand on Benji's thigh, the other one resting against his cheek...and Benji feels his heart race. He brings a hand up to tangle into Victor's hair.

Victor pulls away, laughing softly, " _Wow_..."

"Yeah..." Benji agrees, licking his lips.

Looking at Victor in this moment, Benji realizes that he'd spent far too long denying his feelings for him, pretending as if they weren't meant to be together.

_They were definitely meant to be together._

There was just one thing standing in their way. He pulls back slightly, hand interlocked with Victor's.

"Wait...what about Mia?"

Victor bites his lower lip, "I'm going to tell her the truth tomorrow, I promise."

Benji sighs, "Look, Victor...I want this, us...just as much as you do." 

_Don't say it, Benji. Derek's words mean nothing._

"I've been out for awhile now, and _you_...have you even said the words out loud yet?" he lowers his voice, bending down to meet Victor's eyes, "i'm gay?" 

Victor is silent, and Benji bites his lower lip, "I'm not trying to put pressure on you, Victor..." he corrects himself, "You don't have to feel obligated to come out if you aren't ready. I just want to make sure that, _if_ you want this...you are ready, prepared for it."

"I know. I _am_ ," he looks up at Benji, "I'm ready to come out, Benji...I want to. I...want this." 

Benji smiles, "I believe you. And this time...I'll be here for you, I promise. I want this, too."

"I believe you, too." Victor whispers, leaning in to press his lips against Benji's again.

Benji smiles against his lips, melting into the kiss and bringing his hand up to thread into Victor's hair again...the other grabbing the lapel of his tuxedo jacket and pulling him closer.

Their kiss grows more intense, more desperate...and Benji finds himself pouring all of his emotion into it.

_He's never kissed derek like this...he's never kissed anyone like this...never allowed himself to be this vulnerable. it's terrifying and thrilling at the same time._

Benji pulls away from the kiss, resting his forehead against Victor's. He tightens his grip on Victor's lapels...scared that if he lets go Victor will slip away from his grasp.

_He won't let him slip away again._

Victor pulls away slightly, "I should...probably get back in there." he says breathlessly.

"Yeah..." Benji laughs shyly, letting go of his jacket and settling his hands in his lap.

He looks up at Victor, "I'll...call you tomorrow?"

Benji nods, smiling, "I'll be waiting."

Victor smiles fondly, running a hand through benji's hair. 

Benji blushes, biting back a smile.

"Goodnight, Benji." 

He stands up, putting his hands in his pockets and walking back towards the school. 

Benji watches as he disappears into the school, a grin still on his face. He can still feel the pressure of Victor's lips against his, the ghost of Victor's touch on his skin...setting it aflame. 

He sits on that bench for what seems like an eternity, not yet ready to let go of the moment. Even when he pushes himself to get up and leave, his mind still drifts back to thoughts of Victor.

_He didn't know what the future held for them, but he couldn't wait to find out._


End file.
